Saturday, March 15, 2014

Greetings friends,

I write to welcome you to Spring (finally!) and to its ultimate right of passage, The Online Tournament Pool. Another year of sharing in the excitement of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, and attempting to predict its results, is upon us. Whether you are an OTP veteran or contemplating joining us for the first time, I ask that you give me a moment to regale you with stories of the enjoyment this competition brings, and how it works.

I’d like to begin by recounting a conversation I had with my son Luke last year at this time:

(I’d just confronted Luke in his bedroom upstairs.)
Me: There is no escape! Don't make me destroy you. Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You've only begun to discover your power! Join me, and I will complete your training! With our combined strength, we can win The Online Tournament Pool, and bring order to the galaxy.
Luke: I’ll never join you.
Me: If only you knew the power of the OTP. Bobby Knight never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough. He told me you killed him, and took over the Online Tournament Pool!
Me: No I am your father.
Luke: No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!
Me: Search your feelings; you know it to be true!
Luke: NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Me: Luke, we can win the OTP. It is your destiny! Join me, and together, we can rule the OTP as father and son! Join me. It is the only way.
(Luke jumps out his bedroom window.)

Ok, not my best moment as a parent, but the youngster survived the two story drop without a scratch. Sadly, his performance in last year’s OTP demonstrated that while he may be a burgeoning soccer star, and might lead the Racers to the Tee-Ball championship this year, the Force is definitely NOT with him when it comes to picking NCAA hoops games.

His younger brother (by a minute) on the other hand, was one Michigan victory from winning the whole OTP. Maybe I should have a chat with him…

In the meantime, let me introduce you to the Seventeenth Annual Online Tournament Pool yep, you guessed it, Star Wars style.


“Hmm! Adventure. Hmmpf! Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things.”

Agreed, a true Jedi seeks only to sit on a comfy couch (or bar stool) and watch as much college hoops action he/she possibly can over the next three weeks while hoping their choice of Florida Gulf Coast University advancing to the Sweet 16 pans out.
If this sounds like an adventure you’d like to undertake, then direct your targeting computer (or let the Force guide you) to the following URL:


“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”
Not convinced that the OTP is the thing for you? Unsure you want to devote time (and $5) to the best part of the year?!
“Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder.”

Sorry, I lost my temper. But think of the fun you will be missing out on! Selection Sunday is like Christmas morning x 10! You’re going to spend hours poring over that bracket, picking that perfect combination of 10 seed over 7 seed upsets, with that inevitable march by that sneaky 5 seed. You’ll hold your breath as that 1 seed you were certain is a lock for a Final Four birth struggles in the first round (sound familiar Gonzaga? Purdue?). You’ll suddenly find an intense interest in the Wofford Terriers, the Georgia State Panthers, and the Baylor Bears. You’ll rage against the dreary Syracuse zone, marvel at the inside game of Georges Niang, and find yourself remarking, “Larry Brown is still coaching/alive?!”
“You’ve never heard of the Millennium Falcon? … It’s the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.”
You’ve never heard of the Online Tournament Pool? It’s the first online pool, dating back to 1997 when, yours truly, made picking the NCAA Tournament on mimeographed (I love that word, that’s why I use it every year in this thing) brackets a thing of the past. 12 parsecs!?! Now you can submit your picks in less than 2 parsecs! Become a part of history and join folks who have been a participating in the OTP for 5, 10, even 17 years.

“Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.”

Said NO ONE regarding their selected bracket. Ever notice that by the second week of the tournament all of the brackets of the so called “basketball gurus” disappear from ESPN.com and SI.com? Seth Davis, Dick Vitale, Jay Bilas, and Digger Phelps can talk, bloviate, and prognosticate all they want, but their brackets end up looking as crappy as ours do, which is why you suddenly can’t find them on any website. That’s the beauty of the OTP. Anyone can win! Anyone! Did I mention a three year old almost won last year? Or that a grade-schooler actually tied for the final lead (lost via tie-breaker)? Don’t know a thing about college basketball?

“Sir the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1.”

That’s the spirit. Sign up! Your chances of victory are quite good, relatively speaking.

“Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.”

You knew that quote was coming. Stop hesitating and here’s what to do: visit the website at http://docgeorge.net/OTP. It is currently being updated, so you can peruse last year’s content, but by Sunday night (March 16), it will be “fully operational,” replete with the 2014 NCAA Tournament Brackets which will be revealed tomorrow evening. You will then have until Thursday (3/20) at noon to submit your picks and until Wednesday (3/26) to send in your $5.

“Travelling through hyperspace ain’t like dustin’ crops, boy!”

Most likely, but submitting your picks is easier than dustin’ crops, believe me I have years of experience. (Travelling through hyperspace that is, I’ve never dusted a thing in my life, just ask my wife – actually, please don’t bring that up.) The brackets are a simple point-and-click exercise, but there’s even an option of having all the higher seeds picked automatically for you.

“I’m Luke Skywalker! I’m here to rescue you!” “…You’re who?”

Ah yes, please make sure you include your full name (First AND Last please), or your bracket will not be included in the competition.

“It’s against my programming to impersonate a deity.”

Only one entry per person, and please don’t impersonate a deity or anything else for that matter.

“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”

A common reaction from first-time OTPers who take a first look at the scoreboard: “Wait why is the person with the least amount of points in the lead? And where ARE the droids I’m looking for?” That’s because you’re rewarded for the least amount of INCORRECT picks. Can’t help you with the droids.

“Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”

Well, not quite. Let me explain further...

“I’ve got a very bad feeling about this.”
No, relax, it was invented by an actuary…

“Ungh. And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.”

Now that’s not nice. My actuarial friend has impeccable grooming habits.

“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

Ok, stop it! The system is quite simple. Rather than awarding points for correct picks, you are penalized for those you miss.

“Only at the end do you realize the power of the Dark Side.”

Right, er, no wait. What this means is that your score will reflect not just your incorrect picks in round one, but in every subsequent round.

“Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”
Just hang on, let me finish explaining with this example. Say you picked Ohio State to advance to the Elite Eight, but the Buckeyes are upset in the first round. Your score will reflect the points you lost for each round in which you had them advancing.

“The Force is strong with this one.”
Thanks, I guess. So we’re clear?

“Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you.” (Winces.) “Uh, how are you?”

Phlegmatic, thanks for asking. Here, let me recap. Visit the web site to check out the rules, the scoring system, the brackets and, of course to make your pick. Please do so by Thursday to qualify for a chance at the prize.

“So. You got your reward and you’re just leaving, then?”

The reward? Yes, all of the collected entry fees (minus five dollars) will be awarded to the person with the lowest score by the end of the tournament. In case of a tie, which happened for the first time in 16 years last year, the competitor who picked the most final four participants, or elite eight participants if there is no difference, gets the win. Again, all money needs to be submitted by 3/19 either the old-fashioned way: 141 Lexington Circle, Matawan NJ 07747, or via the PayPal link on the OTP web site.


“I love you.”

I know. 

Hope you can join us this year, and if you have any questions send me a note. And of course, may the force be with you.

Best,

-gr

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