The 2024 OTP!

Greetings Friends.

This is an invitation to join the 2024 Online Tournament Pool. 

 

The Online Tournament Pool (or OTP) is a fun, friendly, personally run NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament prognostication pool.

 

If submitting your picks for who will win the 2024 NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship (for a modest fee) for the chance to awe friends, family, and social media followers - AND taking home a nice chunk of reward money – does not pique your interest, my apologies for clogging your inbox.

 

However, if you ARE ready to jump into March Madness with the intensity of Abe Lincoln riding a grizzly bear with a machine gun and the Gettysburg Address, then the OTP is for you!

 

Read on…

***

For this year’s welcome message I’m using the poems of Robert Frost. “Poetry!” you exclaim! “I ain’t here for no poetry!” Ah, but if you use language such as that your words are their own form of poetry. 

Besides, March Madness is as poetic as it comes and, as Frost wrote, “That’s what she said.”* 

Ahhh, the sound of easy wind and downy flake…

…is almost as sweet as the sound of sneakers squeaking on the hardwood, basketballs whistling through the net, the buzzer blaring, and the crowd in full, throaty roar. The greatest sporting event of the year, the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament, is nearly upon us, and the OTP is your chance to crank your level of fun from a 10 to an 11. 

Good fences make good neighbors..

… perhaps, but what truly makes good neighbors are good brackets! Next week everyone will be discussing their March Madness picks. Don’t be left out! Make some new friends! Break down the walls/fences that divide you from your neighbors and join the OTP. Sure, everyone will be part of one Yahoo contest or some ESPN pool or another. But the OTP gives you a chance to compete against people you know - or soon will know. 

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me…

Lifelong friendships have been formed via the OTP. As a participant in the OTP people will love you so much it will scare them. Join the OTP community and enjoy daily commentary and analysis, the ability to view the brackets of your competitors and keep track of how your picks fare. You can view the picks of last year’s competitors here for now, and this year’s entries after Thursday.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces… 

One thing OTPers are not afraid of is a blank bracket. Unsure of which 12 seed will be the one to make it to the second round this year? Uncertain about which #1 seed will flame out first (Hint: rhymes with Fondue)? I, your trusty pool master, am here to give you insight into each team that gets their name called on Selection Sunday. The OTP blog will be available here.

Some say the world will end in fire. Some say in ice… 

We will have to see how the world turns out later, but each tournament day’s action will be recapped, and scores updated immediately, so you will know precisely how the fate of your OTP picks is unfolding. More information about our scoring system (invented by the country’s leading actuary, pictured at right) can be viewed here.

A thousand Christmas trees! - at what apiece? He felt some need of softening that to me: “A thousand trees would come to thirty dollars.” 

Did I mention joining the OTP will cost you only $10? That’s far less than a thousand trees. Speaking of trees, were you aware that the OTP was the FIRST online NCAA Men’s Basketball pool, starting in 1997? Back then many trees were laid to waste as would-be NCAA pool competitors mimeographed paper copies for distribution. Yes, everyone is now filing picks online, but only one Pool has been doing it for 27 years! On the topic of history…

Abraham Lincoln once said, “If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.” 

And following the great leadership of old Abe, racists are not welcome here at the OTP. But everyone else is! The more the merrier! Invite friends, family, neighbors (see above). Brackets will be available by Sunday evening (3/17), and completed brackets and entry fees will be due by Thursday, noon (3/21).

When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking you for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country! Ok? 

Even if you do fall for the old Nigerian Prince scam, please make sure you retain $10 for your OTP entry fee. Due by noon 3/21.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Only a Pulitzer Prize winning, Congressional Medal of Honor awardee, and United States Poet Laureate could best elucidate the significance of the Online Tournament Pool. Leave the Yahoos and ESPNs aside, take the truth path, the path of the OTP, it will make all the difference. Click to visit the OTP page here.

The woods are lovely dark and deep

But I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep

And miles to go before I sleep…

BUT BEFORE YOU DO! Check out our page. View the rules and scoring system. Submit your bracket and entry fee.

One could do worse than be a swinger of birches…

But one could not do better than be part of the Online Tournament Pool.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy the Madness!

*Some quotes while possibly attributed to Frost, are in fact those of Michael Scott, Regional Manager at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch.

TV Schedule in a handy colorized chart...

 

Welcome to the 2023 Online Tournament Pool!

Greetings Friends, it is I, your best friend, Coach, History Prof, and all-around favorite guy!

Welcome to March and welcome to another year of the Online Tournament Pool (OTP)!

For those of you who are new, this is an annual NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Projection Pool running since 1997. For a $10 entry fee you submit your picks for who will win each and every game of the 2023 NCAA basketball tournament.

While recently this has been part-fundraiser, now it will be a winner-takes-all-contest! Should you pick the most games correctly, you will win the entirety of the submitted entry fees (-$10).

• Our web site address is here: https://docrek.wixsite.com/otp23 (Will be updated ASAP.)
• The OTP Blog, which will provide updated scores and info as the NCAA Tournament and our OTP contest progresses, can be found here: http://otp09.blogspot.com.
• Brackets will be available for you to choose from starting Sunday night, March 12.
• Bracket submissions (one per person) will be due by Thursday at noon, March 16.
• $10 Entry fees will be due at the time of your submission via PayPal or Venmo.

Thanks for reading and looking forward to having you join us for OTP 2023!

- George (docrek@gmail.com)

P.S. Please share to any and all interested parties.

Welcome to the Hitmen OTP - 2022!

Welcome friends, it is I, Coach George.

I am the PoolMaster of the Hitmen Online Tournament Pool (formerly just the Online Tournament Pool).

I am also an Assistant Coach of the NJ Hitmen 12U Little League Travel Baseball Team for which my son, Luke, plays.

2022 is the year! This August, the NJ Hitmen 12U team will travel to Cooperstown, New York to participate in the National 12-and-Under Baseball Tournament.

Once again, the Hitmen Online Tournament Pool (HOTP) will serve as both a fun competition to pick the correct NCAA Men’s Tournament bracket, and as a fundraiser to help support Luke and his teammates’ trip to Cooperstown.

This Sunday, March 13, the 2002 NCAA Men’s Tournament Brackets will be revealed. After which you will have an opportunity to participate in this Online Pool, possibly win some money, and help fundraise for the NJ Hitmen.

*Please note, the brackets (and the HOTP) will not be available until this Sunday (3/13) night.*

HERE ARE THE RULES/REGULATIONS:

We will be using ESPN’s Tournament Challenge for pick submissions and scoring updates.

https://fantasy.espn.com/tournament-challenge-bracket/2022/en/group?groupID=4376294

The group name is Hitmen OTP 2022 and the group password is hitmen22.

1. Submit your bracket. (In addition to your personal information please include which Hitmen player you are supporting.)

2. Pick whomever you want, how many times you want AS LONG AS YOU ARE PUTTING $20 DOWN FOR EACH BRACKET.

A. Brackets must be submitted by 12 PM on Thursday, March 17.

B. Payment for bracket entry is due at the time of submission. 

C. ($20 a piece/10 ENTRY MAXIMUM PER PERSON, feel free to submit on behalf of other family members, and you are very much welcome to donate extra!)

D. Payments can be made thusly:

a. PayPal: greklaitis@brookdalecc.edu

b. Venmo: George-Reklaitis

E. Sorry, once the hoops start all unpaid brackets will be deleted.

F. SORRY, ONCE THE HOOPS START ALL UNPAID BRACKETS WILL BE DELETED.

G. SORRY...ok, you get it right?

H. SORRY...not sorry...

3. BRACKET AND PAYMENT FOR EACH IS DUE BY 12PM ON THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2022!

Again, the NJ Hitmen are fundraising for a once-in-a-lifetime trip to play at the Cooperstown Tournament in New York this summer so we appreciate all of your support. Half of all entry fees will go to the NJ Hitmen, the other half will go the the HOTP Champion (last year’s prize was $500!!).

Please continue to visit this site:

http://otp09.blogspot.com/

for witty commentary and updates on the Tournament.

Again, welcome and thanks for joining the HOTP – (yeah, you know me).

Your Friend and PoolMaster, - Coach George

PLEASE SHARE!!!!

It's not just hoops, it is History! (Volume 3)

 Greetings and welcome back to another edition of ...

about the 2021 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament

In our previous issues you were presented with numerous statistics, facts (I use that term very loosely), historical tidbits and a potpourri of delightful information about the NCAA teams competing in the "First Four" the "West Region" and the "East Region." Only 2 regions to go! 

[*Sighs wearily into his beer glass.*** I'm certainly reconsidering this idea.] 

BUT, we must soldier on! Today's teams to ponder are from the South Region.

The South Region

(1 Seed) Baylor

• Baylor deems itself the largest Baptist university in the nation. 
• Their school motto is "For Church, For Texas," which doesn't require much reading between the lines to translate this to: "F*ck anyone who is not Baptist or Texan."
• The university was named after a former Confederate General, xenophobe and white nativist named Robert Emmett Bledsoe Baylor. Perhaps not ironically his initials spell out "REBB."
• Other impressive facts about this bastion of christian charity and good will include that, as Judge in nearby Independence, Texas:
• He punished an abolitionist for harboring an escaped slave.
• He punished a man for not returning a borrowed slave in a timely fashion.
• He sentenced a slave to death for arson.
• He fined a man who had purchased bacon from a slave.
• And ordered a slave to be hanged for "intending to rape a white woman."
• For his honorable service the residents of Waco and Independence Texas decided to name a college after him. (As one would.)
• Other notable moments in Baylor's goal towards civil harmony and acceptance include:
• They accepted their first African-American student in 1964.
• In 2015, they altered their official Student Conduct Code to permit inter-racial sexual conduct amongst its students.
• 2015!!!!!!
• At around the same time, the Baylor football program was embroiled in a sexual assault scandal in which numerous female students came forth to allege rapes and other sexual assaults. The coach, Art Briles, attempted to concoct a false scenario in which one of his players was the supposed ringleader of some type of prostitution ring. The player was later murdered. Art Briles was eventually suspended, and ultimately fired.
• The Student Newspaper is referred to as "The Rope."
• Athletically, Baylor University has a long tradition of ... WHO THE F**K CARES!?!? HOW DOES THIS INSTITUTION EVEN CONTINUE TO EXIST!?!
• Baylor is heavily favored to make the Final Four. Yay Sports!

(16 Seed) Hartford

• The University of Hartford is a private school of 6,000 students located in Reno, Nevada. 
• Notable aspects of this fine college are that it has its own Magnet School, which attracts students from as far away as Connecticut.
• The UH is also noteworthy for having 5, yes FIVE!, a cappella groups. Each your heart out Florida State.
• One often overlooked aspect of UH's history is that it was instrumental in identifying (rather haphazardly it was later learned) potential communist subversives in the Hartford (I mean Reno) area. In fact, in 1952 esteemed United States Senator Joseph McCarthy bestowed the College Newspaper the honor of "Snitches of the Year." The College newspaper, "The Informer" (obviously) is still in publication today.

(8 Seed) University of North Carolina

• The University of North Carolina is a private Buddhist Monastery situated in the breathtaking mountains of Nepal, a nation in Central Asia.
• UNC (as the monks call it) has never fully explained its association with the National Collegiate Athletic Association, but the accepted notion is that it is based on his holiness, the Dali Lama's, preference for Carolina barbecue that's contributed to this relationship.

(9 Seed) University of Wisconsin

• Keeping in mind that the UW is one of the overall best athletic achieving universities in history, take a quick peek at what the school has achieved academically, and I quote:
• Among the scientific advances made at UW–Madison are the single-grain experiment, the discovery of vitamins A and B by Elmer McCollum and Marguerite Davis, the development of the anticoagulant medication warfarin by Karl Paul Link, the first chemical synthesis of a gene by Har Gobind Khorana, the discovery of the retroviral enzyme reverse transcriptase by Howard Temin, and the first synthesis of human embryonic stem cells by James Thomson. UW–Madison was also the home of both the prominent "Wisconsin School" of economics and of diplomatic history, while UW–Madison professor Aldo Leopold played an important role in the development of modern environmental science and conservationism.
• That's it? Never mind, that this is some weak ass shit, what is worse is that UW is publicly claiming innovations that my 11 year old twins perfected decades ago. 
• Seriously, "reverse transcriptase" Professor Temin?
• I think you can clearly see a much more advanced formulation of the retroviral enzymes being formalized here.

• 
• But here is its folks, the 8/9 matchup in the South Region will be the ultimate battle between religion and science; perhaps predicating the end of humanity as we know it. Looks like a good matchup!!

(5 Seed) University of Villanova

• I will eventually update you all on how many Catholic schools are playing in this year's tournament (not NOTRE DAME *maniacal laugh*) but I'm beginning to think that Jesus the carpenter is the one who built that peach basket for Mr. Naismith.
• Regardless, 'Nova had their one shining moment 3 years ago, then Purdue absolutely destroyed them in '19. Conclusion: it is Lent. Catholic Schools should be suffering, not celebrating.
• Prediction: Winthrop by 11.

(12 Seed) Winthrop University

• Winthrop University is the highest rated College in the State of South Carolina. I could make a comment about the competition, but I would prefer to drape this 6,000 student school in all the plaudits. 
• Additionally, this school has won 11 Big South Championships since 1988. NO school in the NCAA has the same level of conference dominance.
• Go Eagles. Heading to the second round for sure.

(4 Seed) Purdue University

• Purdue University, located in West Lafayette, Indiana has been regaled by numerous scholars, politicians, world leaders, and religious figures as the greatest academic and athletic institution in the country, nay, the world.
• A few quotes:
• Jesus: "Alas, the greatest school my Dad created did not find me suitable for admission. Nonetheless, though not a school based on some crazy faith, I admire Purdue for being a meritocracy and not a legacy program."
• Einstein: "Yo, shorty, that school is dope!"
• The Dali Lama: "On second thought, UNC sucks!"
• Buzz Aldrin: "Yeah, my boy Neil Armstrong and I were the first dudes on the Moon, but in my opinion Purdue's greatest alum is Dr. George Reklaitis. What!? You don't know who that is?! I suppose you don't believe the moon landing is legit either? *Punches the old lady who he was talking to.* 
  
• Prediction North Texas: 79-Purdue 68
• PS Neil Armstrong, the 1st human on the moon, graduated from Purdue.

(13 Seed) North Texas University

• NTU's location is a mystery to many - at least in terms of which state it may be located, and FORGET about which region of the state the campus may be found.
• There are 7 colleges from Texas participating in the NCAA Tournament this year. SEVEN.
• For comparison sake:
• 0 schools from Hawaii
• 0 schools from Rhode Island
• 0 schools from Nevada
• 0 schools from Minnesota
• 0 schools from Kentucky
• 0 schools from Mississippi
• Good thing Texas has a lot of oil money
• Revised Prediction: Purdue 89-NTU 69
• F Texas

(6 Seed) Texas Tech (School For Morons)

• Oh look, another school from Texas
• When Purdue Center Isaac Hass injured his elbow via an obvious illegal and felonious "hook-and-hold" move by the idiots (I mean "athletes") of Cal-Sate Fullerton, TTU managed to well, just upset everyone. Asshats!
• Take a nap during this game, the Aggies of Utah State have got this.

(11 Seed) Utah State

• I have to be honest with you guys, I'm starting to fade in this endeavor. 
• This is school 50 in my attempted encyclopedic effort to catalog all 72 teams/universities in this year's tournament. 
• I'm not giving up, but the remaining schools in this region are gonna get shorter shrift. 
• I did take a break to watch the first few games of the "First Four" and during the interminable break preceding the UCLA/Sparty game I watched the end of "Hoosiers." 
• I had started watching it the other night while preparing my nightly research, but felt the need for an emotional boost as I continued this hallowed effort.
• As during the previous 343 times I've watched the film, I was bawling by the end.
• But yet I persist, as Coach Norman Dale (and Senator Elizabeth Warren) would have wanted because, and I quote, "I love you guys."
• What does any of my whining got to do with the Utah State Aggies?
• NOTHING!
• They are the biggest public school in Utah, they were the largest campus center of support for the Iranian Revolution in 1979, and they will beat Texas Tech by 7 points.

(3 Seed) Arkansas

• Ok, I am back! Hickory High was victorious; a couple of Amstel Lights and a sleeve of Caramel Delights are in my system; and even though I am emotionally spent and calorically bloated, at least I've got a sugar high going on!
• Anyway, on to ...
• Silas Herbert Hunt
• The First African-American college applicant to get into a major university without anyone throwing a fit of trying to sue.
• If you need some refreshers see James Meredith, Orval Faubus, or George F'n Wallace
• The Pigs (or whatever their nickname is, enjoyed a nice stretch of NCAA Men's Basketball success in the late 1980s culminating in a national championship in 1994 (that should have rightly been won by Purdue.)
• Where was I? Oh yeah, Purdue needs to win a championship soon. 
• But take a look at the bottom half of the South Bracket. Arkansas is in a nice spot to make some noise.

(14 Seed) Colgate

• Your nightly reminder to brush your teeth.
• Quick overly-personal story.
• I walked up to bed late Monday night after working on one of these blogs (still not sure why) went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and fell into bed. 
• "George, go brush your teeth," my wife mumbled, half-asleep.
• "Just did," I replied.
• "GEORGE," Christina said, a bit more insistently, "no, go brush your teeth."
• "I brushed my TEETH!" I retorted with as much (or as little) annoyance I could muster at 2:30 in the morning.
• "No you didn't!" she insisted, with someone with far too much resolution considering it WAS 2:30 in the morning and she only woke up AFTER I had brushed my teeth and laid down in bed.
• So, not wanting to prolong a trivial argument, I grabbed my pillow and went to sleep in my son's bedroom.
• When it comes to a comfortable night's sleep in my own bed or brushing my teeth TWICE a night, I say ... F OFF COLGATE!!
• In basketball news, Arkansas will prevail easily over their minty-fresh-feeling opponents.

(7 Seed) Florida

• Quick and simple prediction (LISTEN TO ME):
• The Florida Gators will have to withdraw from the tournament for COVID Reasons.
• It may be before or after they lose to Virginia Tech, but there's no way this team, from this state, should be allowed to participate in any sporting event outside of the Florida Governor's Mansion. Speaking of Virginia Tech...

(10 Seed) Virginia Tech

• You may remember me reflecting on my disappointment that Christine Reklaitis, my Sister-in-Law, is a graduate of the University of Virginia. Let me be clear, my disappointment, if you remember, was NOT that she is my sister-in-law (far from it, my brother wed very well); nor am I in any way disappointed that she had the opportunity to attend and succeed at one of America's finest collegiate institutions there in Charlottesville. 
• Now at this point you and the hundreds of friends who have gathered around your phone to read this blog are starting to look at each other and murmur .... "yeah, whatever dude, but are you not supposed to be providing witty literary banter about Virginia Tech NOT UVA?!?"
• Ok fine, you nosy, drunk bastards; here is my TOP 10 rankings of 2021 NCAA Mens' Basketball Tournament Teams' Campuses:

1. Purdue
2. UCSB
3. VaTech
4. UMD
5. UVA
6. UW-Madison
7. UTenn
8. GATech
9. Nope that is it

(2 Seed) Ohio State

• OSU Sucks but they shall beat .... 

(15 Seed) Oral Roberts

It's not just hoops, it is History! (Volume 2)

Greetings and welcome back to another edition of ...

about the 2021 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament

In our previous issue you were presented with numerous statistics, facts (I use that term very loosely), historical tidbits and a potpourri of delightful information about the NCAA teams competing in the "First Four" and those from the "West Region." Today we lean in to further compelling information about the competitors in the East Region.

The East Region

(1 Seed) Michigan

• The University of Michigan was established in 1817 even before there was a state of Michigan. Not sure how that works. I guess if you always wondered: "What came first, the university or the egg?" you are clearly a disturbed individual who has hit the NyQuil a wee bit early.
• UM's motto is "Arts, Knowledge, Truth." As well as being an inspiring refrain, it serves to remind others - who might attempt to engage in conversation with a Michigan student or alumnus - that they are only capable of speaking in short phrases composed entirely of nouns, as demonstrated by the extremely popular chant heard at all Michigan sporting events: "Sports, Points, Today!"
• Catchy I know. Listen for it as you watch the team play.
• Michigan is coached by Juwan Howard, a former Michigan basketball player and part of the famous "Fab Five" that introduced the basketball world to oversized athletic shorts and the inability to count to 3. 
• Oh...and cheating. No, not using adjectives or verbs, but less dramatic crimes like illegal gambling and embezzling. No biggie. 
• These days three of the "Fab Five" are doing quite well, Juwan Howard, coaching his Alma Mater, Chris Webber and Jalen Rose, highly paid sports broadcasters. And Ricky and the other guy are doing ... things.
• One last note: In 2014, the University of Michigan was investigated by the Federal Office of Civil Rights "for possible violations of federal law over the handling of sexual violence and harassment complaints." The only information the University issued as a result of this investigation was, and I quote, "Dishwasher, Galoshes, Lemon."
• That inspiring phrase may already be copyrighted, but I would recommend that any college seeking a catchy motto look in to paying the copyright fees. It'd totally be worth it.
• Go Big Blue! (Ah crap there's not one noun in there! My bad.)

(8 Seed) Louisiana State University

• First, and most importantly, LSU is the alma mater of my good friend and long time HOTP (previously knows as the OTP) participant Jefferson Beauregard William Sonoma Doherty.
• Quick story about my friend Jeff: as a young man he resigned himself to study at LSU until Sam's Town Hotel and Gambling Hall in Shreveport, offered him a position at the coat check room. The rest, as they say is history, as he and his family currently reside somewhere in the Far East taking care of the outer garments of wealthy South Korean businessmen. Jeff, delivered the commencement address at Sam's Town Hotel back in 2018. Well, actually it was more like a conversation with Stephano, a guy from whom Jeff used to score crack back in the day.
• Actually I am not even sure Jeff went to LSU, I only met him at Wake Forest. His name might not even be Jeff. Oh well.
• One last quick fact about LSU (and not Jeff): Louisiana State University was given federal land grant money to help with its foundation in 1860. A year later the ungrateful m*fers seceded from the Union. GIVE US THE MONEY BACK!! GEAUX FEAUKX YEAURSELF!

(9 Seed) St. Bonaventure University

• First, and most importantly, SBU is the alma mater of a wonderful friend. Oh and yes, also another guy I know named Chris Geddis.
• In fact Chris was the Student Basketball Manager for the Bonnies back in his days as a student, sometime during the Roosevelt Administration (Teddy not Franklin).
• You would think with a popular nickname of "Saint Bone-nah!" SBU would be located somewhere in Massachusetts. Tis not so. Only a select few of the administrators and staff have its location memorized. The majority of the students - fondly referred to as "Bone-nahs!" (perhaps too fondly) (of which there are less than 2,000) are drugged, hooded and then brought to the campus at its secret location.
• A quick peek at the SBU wikipedia site reveals the nature of this secret cabal of "Franciscans" as they call themselves. The President is just "acting" and the number of administrative staff is - and I am quoting directly - listed at a precise number of "~500".
• Perhaps one day this shadowy organization will reveal itself and inform us what exactly a "Bona Wolf" is. 
  
  
  
• You know what, why don't you guys just stay up there in Allegany, NY with your overly-aroused wolves and leave us common folk alone.
• Sh*t! I just revealed their location. Are the super-horny wolves coming? Wait, that's not the best way to ask that question! Never mind! I'm going up to the attic to sit in the dark and finish the rest of this post. Fortunately, I only have 29 more schools to cover.

(5 Seed) The University of Colorado

• The University of Colorado or "CU," as its mostly dyslexic students and alumni refer to it, has one of the shortest Wikipedia pages of any school in the nation. Trust me, I've been reading through dozens of them.
• According to the Wikipedia site, Colorado University (what? would it be that hard to change it to the right order?!) has 5 campuses. The flagship campus, known as CU Boulder, is located in, well, Boulder. 
• There is also a campus in Denver (CU Denver, naturally) and a new campus in south Denver known as ... you guessed it CU South Denver. It is located in Lone Tree.
• ***Another quick break here*** You may not appreciate this now, but as you are watching the Tournament games unfold and the announcers mention that Jordan Seresto, CU's backup point guard is from Lone Tree, Colorado, you will be able to proudly announce to your fellow viewers, "Hey, Lone Tree, that's where CU South Denver is located." 
• I can't forecast that your viewing party will erupt in immediate applause, but let's just say, your reputation will be made. You're welcome.
• I have a dear friend who attended CU. As you may know their biggest rivals are Colorado State University. My good friend who I'd rather not identify (let's just call him Mobert Ritchell) loved the saying, "You can't spell S-U-C-K-S without C-S-U!" 
• Ha. True. Plenty of words you can spell with just CU though!

(12 Seed) Georgetown University

• Georgetown University, founded in 1789, is located in our nation's capital.
• In 1984, legendary basketball coach John Thompson and a phenomenal center know as Patrick Ewing led this small Jesuit school to its first National Championship:
• Check out a few seconds of highlights after you watch several minutes of advertisements:
• https://www.ncaa.com/video/basketball-men/2013-01-11/all-time-teams-1983-84-georgetown
• More impressively, the GU co-ed sailing teams holds 13 national championships and 1 world championship.
• EAT YOUR HEART OUT COLUMBUS, MAGELLAN, AND PATRICK EWING!!
• Another fun fact about GU is that when they were dealing with financial difficulties in the early 1800s the College organized the sale of 272 slaves to Southern plantation owners to keep the school afloat.
• Go Hoyas!
• Hoyas! Oh that is like a cute bulldog right?
• No. Hoya is derived from the phrase Hoya Saxa which translates to, I sh*t you not, "What Rocks?"

• The immediate answer to that question is obviously ... Not these guys.
• Historians have debated the possibility that the phrasing of the question is what has lead to some varied interpretations.
• For instance: 
• Question: "What ... rocks?" 
• Answer: "Yes our nickname should just be 'Rocks'".
• Another possible scenario:
• Question: "WHAT rocks?" 
• Answer: "THERE! THOSE ROCKS!!! The ones you are about to smash our carriage into you idiot!"
• One other potential situation:
• Question: "What rocks?"
• Answer: "Oh, well, I mean Zeppelin, Van Halen, Kings of Leon, the Stones .. and so on. They all rock. But what does this have to do with our choice of school nickname?
• Ok, one last sequence:
• Question: "Hoya Saxa?"
• Answer: "Wait, that's what you want our school nickname to be?"
• Answer: "I don't know, I thought we could name it after my Mom, you know... Hoya Saxa."
• Answer: "Your Mom's name is 'Hoya Saxa'!?!"
• Answer: "Well, that's her stage name at the Ewing Club."
  
• Answer: "Fine, let's just go with HOYAS!"
• Answer: "Awesome. I can't wait to see future 19 year-olds scrawl my Mom's stripper name across their chests!"

(4 Seed) Florida State University

• FSU was founded in 1851 and, according to Wikipedia, it is located in the oldest continuous site of higher education in the state of Florida.
• What the FSU Wikipedia site does not specify is if this continuous education site was one begun by the native peoples of the region or the white settlers who came, killed the indigenous folks, and THEN started up some edu-u-ma-cation.
• Yeah, but let us not allow some genocide to get in the way of the history of this fine institution.
• FSU is ranked nationally in NUMEROUS categories. No rankings in the top 10 of any group, but they report every ranking they have received in any potentially rank-able field. 
• For instance FSU is ranked the 29th top college in the United States by Payscale and CollegeNet's Social Mobility Index college rankings.
• INCREDIBLE!
• Famous Alumni: Burt Reynolds, Deion Sanders
• Most important on-campus organization: The AcaBelles
• Clear winners of the NCAA's A Capella Championship. 

(13 Seed) UNC-Greensboro

• This proud University from Northern Cuba has been in existence since 1950. It was originally named after its founder, Cuban Dictator, Fulgencio Batista. 

 

• The "Fighting Fulgencios" as was their original moniker, accomplished nothing academically, culturally or athletically. However, no University President in World History has ever had more children named after him - except for like Steve. 
• Only in 1960, after the revolutionary forces lead by Fidel Castro overthrew the Bautista regime, did the institution rename itself to the University of North Carolina-Greensboro.
• They are still known as the Fighting Fulgencios, although their mascot is sadly this...                 
  
  
  

(6 Seed) Brigham Young University

• As you all must know, BYU was founded as a university based on the Mormon faith or, as it is properly known, Something About Saints Who Were a Few Days Late.
• As someone raised Catholic who was also late to church a lot, I have nothing but respect for those who have strong faith and a propensity for lateness. One question: your's is the right God? You are sure? Good luck. 
• BYU gave the #1 team in the nation (The Zags) a major scare in their respective conference championship last week, but could not pull it off.
• They still feature former Boilermaker Matt Haarms, a 7'2" blocking machine of a center who decided that having to share time with a 7'4" eventual BIG Freshman of the year, and a 6'11" power forward, 1st-Team Big Ten starter, might be too much, so he left Purdue to head to Mormon country.
• Big Haarms had a good season and BYU is ready to embarrass Sparty or the Brown Shoes on Saturday.  

     (3 Seed) University of Texas

• Ahh...Texas. 
• So initially my intention was to mock the Texas fight song which has recently come under some scrutiny. I listened to the tune itself initially and then made up my own funny, if slightly controversial jingle.
• Then I actually read the words to the tune and, considering the major issue that many have recently had with the song, is its reflections on Texas' long history of slavery, I think I was a bit nice. Read, listen, and decide. 
• My lyrics:
•  The Eyes of Texas
• Heyyy-Up (translation: sober up people, the football game starts at noon!)
• Drumroll…
• (not sung: please wake up drunken Texans, this song will soon begin!)
• All Sing…
• “The Eyes of Texas are Upon You,”
• All, the live long day…”
• “But if you are not White,
• then please go away,”
• “It is not that we are racist,
• But yeah, actually we are”
• “We keep threatening to secede,
• But without Federal dollars we wouldn’t have f*ck all!”
• All Chant:
• We Suck!
• Hook ‘em Horns!

Now the actual tune:

And...

I sh*t you not, the actual lyrics:

The Eyes of Texas are upon you, All the live long day. The Eyes of Texas are upon you You can not get away Do not think you can escape them At night or early in the morn' The Eyes of Texas are upon you 'Till Gabriel blows his horn

•  "It places the lotion in the basket."

 (14 Seed) Abilene Christian University

• I, as you, my friends, grow weary of all these damn schools from Texas.
• So to cut to the chase regarding our folks from ABCU, I offer you this copied and pasted portion of the college web site:
• Sing Song. Since 1956, this annual competition in mid-February has featured student groups of 30–100 people, singing themed a cappella medleys, usually satirical. Originating as a fundraiser for the school, the modern event has developed into a major show for which each group assembles costumes related to their act's theme, such as Peter Pan, the British Royal Guard, Coca-Cola, Adam and Eve, or forest fires. 
• FOREST FIRES! They sing songs about FOREST FIRES!!!!

 (7 Seed) University of Connecticut

• The Huskies are located in Storrs, CT, and have the most NCAA Women's Basketball Championships EVER, which ties them with John Wooden's (Purdue Alum) UCLA program for most title ever!
• The men's program won a couple too.
• For a state as large as the nation of Bolivia (not large) UCONN has 6 campuses. (Non Useful.)
• Academically, UCONN's rankings are impressive, see below:
• 
  
  

                    Just as a reminder, #1 is still considered the best ranking. (At least outside of Connecticut.)

• According to UCONN's wikipedia web site, the College's Fight song: The Husker-Do is one of the most popular fight songs in the country. I made up the name of the fight song, but they made up that sh*t about it's popularity. Never heard it in my life, and I know all the words to "All Hail Southern South Dakota Canine College!"

 (10 Seed) University of Maryland

• I have to start this commentary with a personal disclaimer that I love UMD-College Park. 

• I first visited the campus as a High School Junior who had made it (OMG! I know right!?) to the National History Day Finals Competition.  
  

  For those of you unfamiliar with the NHD it is a history version of Science Fair. For those of you unfamiliar with me I rocked the sh*t of this thing. But in the meantime, loved the campus, loved the 15 minute Metro ride to DC, awesome experience even if I did have to share a dorm room with Steve Weintraught. Lovely dude, personal hygiene, well - if you are reading this Steve, much love and I hope you've been introduced to body-wash.
• I then revisited the College Park area as a Doctoral Student (stop it, I'm not showing off, just relating my personal biography) when I spent time doing research at the National Archives, located nearby. I did not have to share a room with the aforementioned Mr. Weintraught, but I still in between visits to some local college watering holes in CP, I got to ride into DC and take another look around one of my favorite cities. 
• Oh, and yeah I petted the god damn copper turtle.

 (2 Seed) University of Alabama

• I am running out of time and beer, so I will just keep it simple:
• I have never EVER, been to Alabama, I have no interest in doing so and, before I get into too much trouble with Mrs. Boulton, I'd just like to say - stick to football - March Madness is MINE!!! But Jen married a midwesterner (albeit a Spartan who insists on constantly sharing picture of his toes with us), but all the same I must say, you are a wonderful, graceful person Jen Boulton but: STILL TO HELL WITH ALABAMA! 
• (Are you joining the pool this year?)

(15 Seed) Iona College

• Iona College, probably (I will go back and count, I still have 32 schools to document in the next 15 hours) is at least the 434rd Catholic school in the tournament this year.
• Their motto: "Fight the good fight."
• Beautiful, simple, and just ... fine.
• Does it not knock you off your feet? Maybe not. But is is certainly better than stupid stuff like: "Live, die, and be merry." (Indiana University) or, "Tomorrow we crucify our Lord, 3 days later we will pretend he is alive." (Notre Dame).
• Are you familiar with Don McLean? He's an Iona Alumn. What a great way to end today's edition of EAT SHIY. Have a listen and I will talk to you tomorrow. Don't forget to put in your brackets and get those entries in! (Info here: https://fantasy.espn.com/tournament-challenge-bracket/2021/en/group?groupID=3756808)